31 Funny Lies Kids Tell

31 Funny Lies Kids Tell

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If you have children or know children who can talk, chances are you have been lied to. Children tell lies for many reasons, from trying to avoid getting in trouble to pushing the boundaries of what they can get away with. From little white lies to big, huge, jaw dropping lies, they start early and flow through into adulthood.

The lies kids tell can sometimes be so humorous or elaborate that you memory bank them to chuckle at with others after the fact. Here are some of the best.

  1. Yes, I have underwear on.
  2. I didn’t put gum in her hair.
  3. I didn’t hear you say no.
  4. Yes, I brushed my teeth this week.
  5. I’m allergic to vegetables.
  6. My bedtime is 10:00 every night, Grandma.
  7. I didn’t wet my pants, the pee monster peed on me.
  8. I ate the tuna sandwich you sent in my lunch.
  9. No Mom, I didn’t put your make-up on (with red lipstick up her cheek).
  10. I would never do that, it must have been the other kids at school.
  11. No, I didn’t sneak a cookie (while covered in chocolate).
  12. I think a ghost flushed my toy down the toilet.
  13. I met Santa sneaking in the house and we ate cookies together.
  14. My dad can fly.
  15. I can’t walk to get my own snack, my leg is broken.
  16. The teacher said she isn’t assigning homework all year.
  17. There’s a lion in the backyard!
  18. I didn’t hit him, he fell onto my fist.
  19. I wasn’t kissing him, I tripped and our mouths landed together right as you walked in.
  20. No, I didn’t have a party while you were away.
  21. I ate all of my dinner (while the dog lies happily under the table with a full belly).
  22. It wasn’t me.
  23. Mom said I could.
  24. Dad said I could.
  25. I can do magic and make my sister disappear.
  26. My friend at school has three eyeballs, four arms and rainbow hair.
  27. No I didn’t put a watch battery in my nose.
  28. The flowers in your garden spoke to me and told me to pick them.
  29. Yes, I cleaned my room.
  30. My dentist told me I need to eat candy every day.
  31. My dog ate my homework (an oldie, but a goodie)

Whether it’s a big lie or a little one, try to see the humor in the outrageous tales your kids tell. One day you’ll be sitting back with a big grin on your face listening to your kids talk about the lies your grandkids are trying to pull on them.